#NICUlife

Since the babies have been born, I have had people ask things like, "So are you living at the hospital?, Do you go to both hospitals every day?,  Do you get any sleep?, etc.".  I am writing this to give you all a better idea of what a typical day looks like for me these days and also to give insight on what it's like to be a NICU parent.

Most mornings I get up around 8 or 8:30 and the first thing I do is pump. Oy... pumping...  Pumping is a full time job in and of itself! Am I right, ladies? Then I eat breakfast and take the dog out before getting ready for the day.  The morning routine usually also includes an episode of Grey's Anatomy.  (As if I don't have enough of hospitals in my day...). I then pack my "NICU bag" which mainly consists of my pumping gear and any breast milk I have ready to bring to the hospital. Once I'm ready, I head over to IMC to see Emery, usually around 10:30 or 11.
Each hospital requires parents to wear a parent badge.  At IMC, once I get to the NICU doors, I have to call the front desk for them to let me in.  Once in,  I sign in and scrub in at the sink.  I also take off any hand jewelry and put my phone in a plastic ziplock bag to contain the bacteria on it.  Now I'm finally ready to go back.  Emery shares a room with just one other baby.  Once I'm in Emery's room, I use sanitizer before touching her.  For the next few hours I'll just hang out with her.  Every 3 hours, they do her "cares."  This includes getting her temperature, changing her diaper, cleaning her mouth, and feeding her.  I will help with cares and then try to nurse her.  Sometimes she does really well and other times, she just isn't interested.  She still has a feeding tube if she doesn't nurse or take a bottle.  Other than that, I'll hold her skin-to-skin, talk to her, and just love her. The nurse practitioner will usually come in and give any updates or changes.

Just after 2pm, Travis is off work and will come in since he works at the hospital.  We usually help with her cares at 3pm and leave shortly after that.  We go home for a couple hours to eat and rest for a bit. Around 5 or 5:30, we head up to Primary's to see Indianna.
At Primary's, we have badges to let ourselves into the NICU and the people at the front desk call us back.  We also scrub, take off jewelry, and put our phones in bags.  Indie shares a room with a few other babies.  It's pretty similar to how we spend our time at IMC.  Right now she eats very little as her bowel continues to heal.  But she takes it by bottle like a champ! She's also being fed intravenously.  We don't do skin-to-skin because of her surgery a few weeks ago, but we can still hold her.  Around 9 or 9:30, we'll go home, sometimes work on finishing the nursery, go to bed, and start all over the next day.

I think the very hardest part about being a NICU parent is having to leave both of them everyday and find a way to be okay with it.  Having to go home without them and feel kind of like nothing has changed.  It's so hard to feel like you are being split in two.  When I'm with Emery, I wish Indianna is there and when I'm with Indianna, I wish Emery is there.
The NICU is also such a roller coaster.  One day the girls can be doing so good and the next there are setbacks.  My phone is constantly on loud and every time I see it is one of the hospitals calling, my heart stops for a second.  Usually it is just a nurse practitioner calling to update, but I have had a couple scary calls.  I know one thing we won't miss for sure is staring at the monitors.  Every time their oxygen or heart rate dips even a little bit, we get worried.  People have wondered whether or not we get any good sleep.  By the time we get home at the end of the night, we are both so emotionally drained that we actually sleep like babies.

The one thing that keeps us going is knowing that this won't be forever.  Just picturing having both our girls home with us is enough to get us through most days.  All of this is worth it because of our perfect babies.  There are times that I wish I could have stayed pregnant longer, but it didn't work out that way.  So now we are just trying to stay as positive as we can and take one day at a time.  This too shall pass. There is not a doubt in my mind though, that we would do this all over again for our girls.  We truly have been blessed with angels.  :)

Emery

Indianna

Thank you again for all the love, support, prayers, and well wishes.  We are blessed with amazing people in our lives who have made this just a little bit easier. Love you all!

Birth Story ~ Thursday, October 6, 2016

I'm a little behind on this and it is kinda out of order, but I want to share Indianna and Emery's birth story.  As scary as it was, it was still one of the best days of my life.

So for the few weeks prior, I had been going to the doctor twice a week for non-stress tests and ultrasound.  I was also told to expect to deliver the babies any day. Well all of the tests had looked good and there hadn't been any big changes in the past couple weeks.  Plus, the babies had been really active, so I figured I would make it a few more weeks.

So I went in for my weekly ultrasound on Thursday morning.  After the ultrasound tech was done looking, the doctor came in and immediately said, "You're going down to labor and delivery right now. We need to get these babies out today."  The blood flow in Emery's umbilical cord had become reversed flow.  Previously it had just been absent. They needed to get them out right away because Emery wasn't receiving enough blood or nutrients.  Even though I knew that it could be any time, I was still surprised and scared.  I was only 31 weeks 2 days along.  That means they would be 2 months early.
I left the doctors office and called Travis. He was working and didn't answer, but I knew he would know why I had called.  I headed down to labor and delivery and got admitted. This was at about 9:30am.  They took me to my room and put monitors on to watch the babies and my blood pressure.  Travis got there a few minutes later and they told us we would have to wait a few hours before delivering since I had eaten in the morning.  So then we waited... Our moms and a few other visitors came.
At around 2pm, the nurse came in and had Travis put on his gown and shower cap thing and put my shower cap thing on. She was also all gowned and masked up. Just a few minutes later, we all walked to the operating room for my c-section.  Once there, they had me lay on my side on the operating table so that the anesthesiologist could give me a spinal tap. He had me curl into a ball.  Do you know how hard that is with a pregnant belly?! Anyway, the spinal tap is really weird because it completely numbs you from the waist down.  I tried moving my feet and you literally can't feel anything.  It was kinda freaky.  Then the doctor said, "Let us know if you feel anything sharp." Luckily I didn't.
They put up a big plastic sheet so that you can't see them operating on you.  What seemed like only a couple minutes after they started, the doctor was already saying, "Here comes baby A." Travis stood up and watched them pull her out. She cried and then came baby B.  She didn't really cry, but Travis said she was super wiggly. I didn't get to see either of them because they were immediately passed through a window to the NICU.  Baby A was 3 lbs 10 oz, 16.9 inches long, and born at 3:21pm.  Baby B was 2 lbs 6 oz, 15.4 inches long, and born at 3:23pm.
The rest of the time seemed to take the longest.  They were stitching me back up.  I was so glad to have Travis there to keep me calm.  They finally finished and moved me to a bed.  That's when the shakes started.  I was shaking so bad, but didn't feel cold or anything.  They wheeled me back to my labor & delivery room and wrapped me in blankets.  We stayed there for about an hour and a half.
On our way to my maternity room, they took me to the NICU to see the babies. We only got to see baby A because they were still working on baby B.  What a crazy thing it is to see your baby for the first time.  Instant love.
After that, they took me to my room.  Then a whole bunch of our visitors came in to see us.  I can't even remember who all was there...  They all left and I started to get feeling back in my feet.  The nurses said that I had to wait until midnight before trying to get up.  So at midnight, they helped me get up and get into a wheelchair so that I could go see baby B.  Again, the second I saw her, I fell in love with her.
As soon as we saw baby B, we knew the names we were thinking about fit them.  Baby A is Indianna Rae and baby B is Emery Madison.

It definitely wasn't the birth story I had ever imagined, but nothing about my pregnancy was.  I will never forget that day, the day I became a mother.  It has changed my life.  What an amazing blessing it is to live in a time with so much medical technology and knowledge.  I am so grateful that my babies were able to get here safely and be in a place where they can continue to develop and grow.  I cannot wait for the day we get to bring them both home!

Happy Birthday Babies!

10~06~16

Indianna's Surgery

Last night was probably the scariest night of my life.  Our little 9 day old, 3 1/2 pound Indianna had to be life flighted to primary children's hospital for surgery.

Indianna got an infection called NEC which is in her bowel.  Yesterday they discovered that the bacteria had eaten a hole in her intestine and needed immediate surgery. She was life flighted from IMC to primary children's hospital for surgery.  They had to take out about 18 centimeters of her small intestine because it was infected and had died.  They gave her an ostomy which means her intestine now comes to the outside of her stomach while her intestine heals. In a month or 2, they will reconnect it back inside. She did really well with the surgery, but will be at primary children's for a few months.

Emery is still doing great, but I feel so bad that we had to separate them! Emery will stay at IMC. Thank you all for the love and support in this very difficult and stressful time!  Please know we will try to respond to messages and phone calls, but cut us some slack if you don't hear back from us for awhile.

Love you all!

Bumpdate: 29 Weeks - Big Scary Changes

So I know I just posted an update last week, but since then we have had another couple ultrasounds and a lot has changed.  I will try to explain as best I can.

So in these last ultrasounds, both babies were active, both bladders visible, and both had normal fluid volumes; which is good.  The size difference in the twins is concerning.  Baby A is now 3 lbs. 1 oz and Baby B is 1 lb. 14 oz.  In the past 3 weeks Baby A grew almost a pound, but Baby B only grew about 5 oz., which is is a lot less than she should be growing.  Another concern is that there is abnormal blood flow in Baby B's umbilical cord.  The doctor thinks that this is due to unequal placental sharing, meaning that Baby B isn't getting quite enough nutrients since she has a smaller share of the placenta.  There is nothing they can do to correct unequal placental sharing, they just have to monitor Baby B really, really closely.  So now I am having to do non-stress tests twice a week to make sure Baby B's heart rate is normal and that she is not in distress.  I also will have weekly ultrasounds to monitor the blood flow in the umbilical cord.  The reason they watch so closely is because Baby B is at risk to be still born.  If that were to happen, Baby A would also be at risk since they share some blood vessels and the placenta.  The goal is to deliver before that can happen. Because of this, I also had to get steroid shots to help the babies' lungs develop faster in the event I have to deliver soon.  The doctor told us to be prepared to deliver as soon as next week, but if not, most likely within the next couple of weeks.  They don't think I will make it to 34 weeks...

I am so scared!  I am scared of keeping them in too long and risking too much stress on Baby B, but it is still sooo early to have them be born!  I just gotta have the faith that the doctors know what they're doing, and that they will make the best choice for the health of my babies and me.  I am so grateful for modern medicine and technology so that we have the best chance to have healthy babies.  I know that everything is ultimately in God's hands and I trust that He is watching over us.

I will try to keep you all updated.  If you could spare a prayer for me, Travis, and the babies, we would be so grateful!  Thanks again for all of the love and support!

*Below is a video explaining unequal placental sharing just in case anyone is interested. :)

Bumpdate: 28 Weeks ~ 3rd Trimester!

Hello all!  I decided I would give a quick, little update on the status of our girls and this prego mama!

We'll start with me: I am 28 weeks along with less than 12 weeks to go (as twins come early)!  I am now officially in the third trimester!!!  In a lot of ways, I can't believe how fast time is going!  Not sure I'm ready to take on 2 babies in just a few months!  I am feeling pretty good right now.  My biggest complaints are huge, swollen feet, terrible aftertastes that linger, and some acid reflux.  Tums are my new fave!  I am sure though that pretty soon I will be counting down the days until this pregnancy is over!
As far as other symptoms go, I am always hungry!  I can eat a good meal and an hour later feel like I haven't eaten anything all day!  It is kind of fun being able to out-eat Travis.  I haven't really had any cravings other than I could eat watermelon anytime and anything fruity always sounds good.  So far I have gained about 28 pounds.  Also, I ended up failing my 1-hour glucose test so I had to take the 3-hour glucose test, which I passed!  Just barely though...  Basically, I just have to try to limit the sweets like cookies, candy, ice cream, etc.  All the good stuff... Boo!  But at least I don't have gestational diabetes!

As for the girls... they are doing pretty good!  I feel them every day, but only on my right side or really low.  I think I felt at least one of them have the hiccups for the first time the other night.  Travis has still yet to feel them, but he has seen them kick my stomach.  Every time he puts his hand on my stomach, they decide to stop moving...  Hopefully he'll be able to feel them soon!  At our last ultrasound, the amniotic fluid in each of their membranes looked good and both of their bladders were visible!  Both are good signs and mean that they do not meet the criteria for twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome.  Let's keep it that way!  They also are measuring within a normal range even though Baby A is a bit bigger than Baby B.  Baby A is 2 lbs. 3oz. and Baby B is 1 lb. 9oz.  So things are moving right along.

The nursery is also coming along.  We have two cribs (one is in our room for now) and just got our changing table.  Both of our cribs were donated from family and the wood matched!  We got our changing table from KSL and it also happened to match!  What are the odds?!  Now we mostly just need to organize and decorate.  Let the nesting begin! :)

All I Want is Sugar Ice Cream Cake

Ingredients

1 box Devil's Food Cake Mix (and ingredients listed on the box)

1 1/4 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 1/2 cartons ice cream

1 tub Cool Whip

Directions

1.  Chop up chocolate chips and set aside.  Mix cake mix according to the directions on box and mix chopped chocolate chips into the batter.

2.  Bake according to the directions on the box using two 8-inch pans.  Make sure to spray the pans with cooking spray prior to cooking!

3.  Once cakes are done cooking, allow to cool in pan for about 10 minutes and then remove from pan and allow cakes to cool completely on wire racks.  Once they are completely cooled, wrap in plastic wrap and place in freezer until frozen.

4.  Once cakes are frozen, remove from freezer and cut each one in half horizontally to make 4 cake layers.  Re-wrap in plastic wrap and place back in freezer.

5.  Now we get to soften the ice cream.  It is easiest to work one layer at a time, so you will just use about half a carton of ice cream for now.  I have found that the best way to do this is to get a large bowl and fill it with hot water.  In a slightly smaller bowl, place your ice cream and place that bowl in the bowl of hot water.  I usually just let it sit for a minute or two until it starts melting.  Then I mix it until it is a soft-served consistency.

6.  Take two of the cake layers out of the freezer.  Place one on the plate/tray you'll build the cake on.  Spread the softened ice cream over the cake and then place the second layer over the ice cream.  Put back in freezer.

7.  Repeat steps 5 & 6 until you have all 4 layers of cake with the 3 layers of ice cream in between.  Place back in freezer and allow to freeze until solid.

8.  Once the cake is solid, take out of freezer and spread cool whip all over the cake like frosting.

9.  Now you can garnish the cake with what you want,

10.  Wah-lah! Finished.  Store cake in freezer. :)

Notes:

• You can use 1, 2, or even 3 different ice cream flavors!  For my cake, I used cookies & cream and Samoas ice creams.
• You can also get creative with the topping/garnish.  I went with crushed Oreos, but you could use cut-up fruit, chocolate syrup, candy bits, etc.
• This cake may seem a little daunting, but it's really not too difficult.  Just time consuming.  I would suggest baking and freezing the cake layers a day in advance, so the next day all you have to do is put it together.

Enjoy!

Gender/Twins Reveal!

Twins!!!

First of all, W-O-W!!!  We are still in shock!  Never ever did either of us imagine having twins!  Here is how we found out:

We went in for our 20-week ultrasound and we were so excited to finally learn the gender!  I was also excited because I have been paranoid most of my pregnancy that something might be wrong.  After drinking the required 32oz. of water in an hour, I was ready.  The ultrasound tech (her name was Lynn) brought us back to our room and put that cold gel stuff on my belly.  As soon as she put the ultrasound tool on my belly, she almost immediately removed it and asked if I had any previous ultrasounds.  I told her that I had at 8 weeks and she asked me what they said about it.  

I said, "Well what do you mean?"  Silence from Lynn...  So I continued, "Well they said that the due date is on December 6th, but not much else."

Then Lynn said, "Well you're having twins."

What?!  Travis and I looked at each other with looks of complete shock.

"Are you sure?"  I asked.

"I never kid about this."

Holy cow!  What a crazy bomb to have dropped halfway through the pregnancy!  

Anyway, so Lynn looked around at the babies for a few minutes and then had to try to move some of her later appointments around since now our appointment would take twice as long.  Thankfully, she let me go to the bathroom as I felt my bladder was about to burst!

We both came back to the room and she looked at each baby more closely.  It's so crazy to watch on the ultrasound screen and see your babies!  She told us that they are most likely identical twins because they share a placenta, but won't know for sure until more tests are done.  That also meant that they would more likely than not, be the same gender.  Twin A is a girl and so is Twin B!  Two little girls...

At the end of the ultrasound, Lynn told us that Twin B was about a week behind in size than Twin A.  She left a note on Dr. L's desk to contact me and said that there was a good chance that I would be sent to the high risk doctor as well.

I'm sure mine and Travis's faces looked dazed as we walked out of the office...  We then went to BuyBuyBaby and just sat in the rockers trying to process everything.  We also decided not to tell anyone about the twins until we did the gender reveals with our families the following week.  It made that next week so long keeping such a big secret!

Jensen Gender Reveal

So we decided to tell Travis's parents on the Friday before we left on a trip to Oregon with my family (one week after the ultrasound).  We made cupcakes and hollowed out the middles.  Then we filled them with pink M&M's and frosted them.  We brought over the cupcakes and had them both take a big bite at the same time.
My mother-in-law (Laura) screamed, "Oh, it's a princess!"
We kind of let that sink in for a minute and then we handed them a gift bag telling them that we got the grandparents a gift.  Inside was a pink helium balloon that we wrote, "Baby # 2" on.  Laura opened the bag and pulled the balloon out.  She read the balloon and was so confused!  Meanwhile, my father-in-law continued eating cupcakes.  Laura guessed that "Baby # 2" meant Tedder (our dog) was baby # 2 and also guessed that baby # 2 was an announcement for my sister-in-law.  She was not even thinking for a second that it was twins!  Travis and I both laughed and then I handed her the ultrasound showing both of the babies' heads.  As soon as she saw that, she just started screaming and yelled, "Oh! Two princesses!"  It was definitely the reaction we were hoping for!  We were so glad that we waited to tell them about the twins with the gender reveal.

Lee Gender Reveal

For my family, we decided to do the gender reveal on our summer trip to Oregon.  For the past few years, we have been going to Oregon and staying in a beach house with my family so we thought it would be fun to do something on the beach.

So the night we got there, Travis and I got everything ready before heading down to the beach.  We had black spray bottles and filled them up with pink paint.  We had also bought some cheap white clothes to wear.  Travis just had a t-shirt and gym shorts and I had a white summer dress.  And the final touch was a poster that said, "Boy or Girl?"

Once we were ready, we all headed down to the beach.  We told everyone that we would hand them a spray bottle behind their backs because you could see through a couple of them and then on the count of three, they could bring them in front and spray us.  So we did just that and our white clothes turned pink!  It was such a fun way for everyone to be involved in revealing the gender!

Then Travis and I brought my niece and nephew over to the "Boy or Girl?" poster and had them hold it.  We then flipped it around and on the other side it said, "Baby # 2".  Then Travis and I sprayed everyone with pink silly string.  My mom immediately said, "Baby # 2?... Twins?! Oh my gosh!!"  Haha!  It was so fun seeing everyone's reactions at this unexpected news!  Everyone seemed to be just as shocked as we were.  Again, we are so glad we waited to tell them about the twins!

Excited/Overwhelmed/Worried/Blessed

We have had such a whirlwind and mix of emotions as we have tried to process doubling everything.  At first, I just felt shocked and overwhelmed.  Then it moved to worry and then excitement.  And now we are realizing just how truly blessed we are to have two little girls on the way.

I wake up every day worried about the babies' development and health.  I pray constantly that they are being watched over and developing properly.  There are elevated risks associated with a twin pregnancy and even a little more elevated when they share a placenta and are identical.  The doctors are going to be watching very closely though (ultrasounds every 2 weeks), so that if something were to happen, it could be caught quickly.  I don't think the worry will ever go away now.  I think it must be a parent thing...

Anyway, we are just trying to stay positive and continue looking forward to November!  Goodbye sleep, hello craziness!  So excited for this new adventure! :)

*I will post again very soon with pictures!

Adding a Third Scoop in December!!!

Surprise!  I know it has been awhile and many of you probably have suspected this.  We are seriously still in shock that the Clomid worked the first time and we are actually expecting!  Sometimes I don't even feel like I am pregnant and am worried that all the pregnancy tests (only four), ultra-sound, heartbeat, and doctor are all wrong.  We feel so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to become parents soon!  We are so appreciative and thankful for all of the kind words and prayers that have been said in our behalf.  There is no way we were able to do this on our own.  So thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love and support!

So picking up where I left off... here is the story:

So as you know, in early March I started taking Clomid.  You take Clomid for 5 days; cycle days 5-9.  Then you get to wait and hope that it works.  A lot of people have said that the Clomid makes them crazy, but I honestly didn't feel any different.  None of those hormone drugs really affect me too much, which is definitely another blessing!  Anyway,  I was taking ovulation tests every day so I wouldn't miss it, not expecting much since I had never gotten a positive ovulation test.  I ran out of tests and bought a brand new box with 20 tests.  The first test from that box I used was positive! (Now I have 19 ovulation tests just sitting there...)  I couldn't believe it.  I was trying not to get too excited though, because a positive ovulation test doesn't necessarily mean there will be a positive pregnancy test.

After waiting about a week and a half, Travis asked me when I would be able to test.  I told him that I could test that weekend, probably on Sunday.  I could see in his expression that he was excited, but more so dreading the weekend because he knew how hard it would be to see another negative pregnancy test.  I was so glad that it also happened to be General Conference weekend because I knew either way I would need some spiritual guidance.

On Friday morning, I decided to test.  I wanted to be alone so I could pull myself together before seeing Travis or so that I could surprise him later if the test was actually positive.  It was April 1st (April Fool's Day) and I honestly was expecting another negative test.  For the previous two weeks, I had little pregnancy symptoms here and there like slight cramping and I could smell everything! But I didn't want to read too much into it and get my hopes up.  Been there, done that.  After about 5 minutes, I looked at the test and saw two lines.  I was shocked.  I didn't know how, but I knew that the world was playing a sick joke on me.  So at lunch, I bought digital tests and took another test.  It is a little harder to refute the digital tests when it spells out "Pregnant" for you, but I still just couldn't even believe what I was seeing!

Side note:  The night before, we had put a deposit down on our Goldendoodle puppy!  (This is relevant, I promise)

At lunch, I also went and bought a dog collar and some binkies.  I attached a binky to the collar and put it back in the bag.  I couldn't wait for work to be over and for Travis to come home!  After work got out, I called Travis and of course he was on his way to meet with a financial planner, that day of all days...  On the phone, I told him that I had already bought a collar for our puppy because I was so excited.  He didn't think anything of it.  So about an hour later, he finally called me to tell me that he was on his way home.  He asked if I just wanted to meet him outside so we could go to dinner and I was like, "Well don't you want to come in and change first?"  He agreed and came up when he got home.  I knew I wouldn't be able to get through dinner without spilling the beans.

The whole thing couldn't have worked out more perfectly!  When he came in, he saw the Petco bag on the counter and was like, "Let's see this collar."  He pulled it out of the bag and was looking at it forever!  He even noticed that it was a Cesar Milan collar before he saw the binky.  But I'll never forget when he saw the binky.  His expression went from confusion to realization to disbelief in about 5 seconds.  I could see the wheels turning in his head.  As soon as he realized what it must mean, he looked up at me and said, "You're pregnant?"  I nodded and he immediately came over and gave me a big hug.  Definitely one of the best and most memorable moments of my life thus far.

We are so excited and nervous to be blessed with the incredible opportunity of raising a child.  It's crazy how you can have your life planned out, but God has a different path for you.  God sees the big picture and we can only see a fraction of it.  He knows what will help us grow the most and bring us the most happiness in the long run, even if we have to suffer for a little while.

I know that we only had to wait a short time before being able to get pregnant in comparison to some, and I know I can't even begin to comprehend the pain of waiting for years and years for a child, but please don't give up!  There are so many options these days and all of you ladies struggling with infertility are strong as hell!  Try to stay positive!  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  Love you all! :)

Cali with the Evans!

Last week, we were able to go to California with our good friends, Nate and Amber (and Katelyn)!  It was so much fun and a much needed few days away from reality.  We left on Friday, March 11th after work.  When we got to the airport, we found out that our flight had been delayed 45 minutes.  No big deal.  We went through security and apparently I had a metallic crotch, so I had to go back into a private room while the TSA lady patted me down.  Awesome.

So finally we got on the plane and made it to LAX.  Once there, we waited for the car rental shuttle to come pick us up.  I swear, every other car rental shuttle came at least 3 times before ours came!  When we got to EZ car rental, we rented the car and went out to load the car.  Well they gave us a car that had a big dent in the hood and the bumper was coming off on one side...  The car only had 34 miles on it!

So we took pictures and made sure EZ knew of all the damage before we left and we were on our way.  After driving for about 20 minutes, all of the lights start coming on: the ABS light, the check brakes light, the check engine light, etc.  So we decided to turn around and take the car back to EZ to switch it.  After an hour at EZ, we finally switched the car for a different one (with no dents) and left again.  On the side of the road, we noticed the famous Randy's Donuts so we decided to pull over for a midnight snack.  As we pulled up to the drive-thru window, poor Katelyn (Amber and Nate's 18 month old) started throwing up.  Amber was catching it and throwing it out the window into the garbage by the window!  The poor kid at the window didn't know what to think!

We cleaned Katelyn up and were on our way again.  Katelyn threw up again in the car and Amber was very apologetic, but I thought, "Hey, it's not her fault!"  So we finally got to Nate's Grandma's house in Santa Clarita (where we were staying) at about 1am!  When the lights came on, I realized why Amber was apologizing before... Katelyn had thrown up all over me!  Haha! Ew!  Glad they had a washer and dryer waiting!

The next day was much better.  We spent the day at Zuma beach soaking up the sun and watching the waves.  We even saw a few dolphins!

On Monday (my birthday), we went to Disneyland!  It was a blast!  Little Katelyn was a trooper and loved the churros!  We got to ride everything we wanted and then stayed at a hotel only a ten minute walk away.

Such a fun birthday!

On Tuesday, we hung out in Santa Monica for most of the day.  We went to the pier, the beach, and walked down the outdoor mall.  We finished off the day eating at Coco's.
The next morning, we got up and went to the airport to come home.  So sad to go home, but so grateful that we had at least a few days to get away!

100 Bucks

I promise I won't be posting this often in the future!  I have debated with myself for a while on whether or not to share this much, but my whole purpose of sharing our experience is to possibly help someone else who is struggling with the same thing.  So this next post is just to catch you up to where we are now in this whole baby journey.  I wrote this on 2/25/16, so don't miss the update at the end!

"Yesterday was a bad day.  It had been 15 days since I stopped taking the progesterone and still no period.  Even though I was sure I wasn't pregnant, I knew I needed to take a pregnancy test before calling the doctor's office to see what's going on.  So as soon as I woke up, I peed in a cup and took the dreaded test.  I hate taking pregnancy tests! (As I'm sure I have mentioned before.)  I mentally and emotionally try to prepare myself each time before to not be surprised or sad by a negative result.  Sometimes it kind of works and other times it completely fails.  Yesterday was a "completely fail" kind of day...  So I had a good cry sesh before work, put on my big girl pants, and left for the day.  Not a great start to the day.

At lunch, I called the nurse at my doctor's office and explained my being off the progesterone for 15 days and still no period.  Sure enough, the first thing she suggested was for me to take a pregnancy test.  I told her I already had that morning and it was negative.  Then she said, "Oh."  Not the conversational, high-pitched "oh!", but the blunt, "oh, we have a problem" type of "oh."  That's never a good sign...

The nurse said she wanted to talk to my doctor (we'll call him Dr. L), and then she'd call me back.  So for the next hour I tried to calmly and patiently sit at my desk, waiting to hear back.  Finally, she called back to tell me that Dr. L wanted to prescribe me with Premarin, which is estrogen.  I'll have to take the Premarin for 21 days and then take the progesterone for 10 days.  Then my period should start within 7 days after stopping.  If not, call the nurse again.  I'm hoping I don't get to the point where I have to have the doctor's office on speed dial!  Anyway, so what was the first thing I did after hanging up with the nurse?  Googled Premarin of course!  That was probably the worst thing I could have done because the first thing it listed under what it is prescribed for is menopause symptoms and the prevention of postmenopausal osteoporosis!  I know that I'm not a spring chicken, but I'm not that old!  Still in my 20's thank you very much!

So as everything began to sink in, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, impatient, and a little bummed.  Just the realization of the fact that I probably wouldn't have a period for over a month and if I do, it'll be another week or two before I have the possibility of ovulating.  Also meaning that the chances of having a baby in this calendar year are slim, which shouldn't be a big deal, but it feels like one.

Anyway, so after work, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the Premarin.  I found out that for 21 pills it would be about $100!  And I know this could just be the beginning of the expenses...  It just feels so unfair that I have to pay $100+ just to have a period!  Ladies, never resent your periods again!  I seriously feel like I am 50 years old or something!

Moving on... The day did get a little a better.  I went home to some beautiful, brightly-colored flowers and a husband cleaning the long over-due bathroom.  If anyone knows my husband, you know he is the sweetest, most thoughtful person who never gets mad.  I think when you marry someone, you obviously know or can see what kind of a person they are, but it's when you go through something like this, you can really see them shine.  He has been my light and my support through all of this.  Whenever I just need to vent or cry, he is there to listen.  Whenever I am feeling negative, he always points out the positive and makes me see the blessings we have.  And whenever I need to laugh, he is always there acting silly even if it only makes me smile sometimes.  So even though this has been the hardest thing I have had to go through,  I am so grateful to have the best companion by my side and love knowing that he will be there no matter what."

"A Trial is Just a Precursor to a Great Blessing." -unknown

Update: So after I was prescribed with the Premarin, I waited a few days to start taking it.  I took one pill on 2/29 and lo and behold!  The next day, my period started! (21 days after discontinuing the progesterone, might I add).  So I didn't take any more of the Premarin.  I have started the Clomid and we are crossing our fingers that it works!!!

$100 Pie

Ingredients:

1 pkg. Oreos

2 sticks butter 

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

1 1/4 cups heavy whipping cream, divided

1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips

Sea Salt

Directions:

1. Crush the Oreos with a food processor or blender.  Stir crumbs together with 1 stick melted butter until well combined.  Press into the bottom of a tart pan (or pie pan).  Freeze crust for 10 minutes until set.

2.  Combine remaining stick butter and brown sugar in a small sauce pan.  Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with whisk, until mixture begins to bubble.  Continue cooking and stirring for 1 minute.  Remove from heat.  Slowly whisk in 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream until smooth.  Cool caramel about 15 minutes.  Pour the caramel into the Oreo crust and return to the freezer for 30-45 minutes until just chilled and set.  (Don't let the caramel fully freeze.)

3.  Place chocolate chips in a glass bowl.  In a saucepan, bring 1 cup heavy whipping cream to a simmer over medium-high heat.  Pour the cream over the chocolate chips and let sit for 5 minutes, then stir until completely smooth.  Pour the chocolate over the caramel and freeze for a final 30 minutes, until just chilled and set.  Before serving, sprinkle the top with sea salt. 

Nothin' in the Oven

You may have noticed that in the “About Me” section, it now says “…Hopeful-Soon-To-Be-Mama…”  Surprise!  Yes, we have been trying to expand our family for about 10 months now.  We have kept it pretty quiet until now.  There have been a few times I have wanted to tell some of you, but I'm not the greatest at communicating the serious stuff in person.  Or over the phone (I hate talking on the phone!).  But I'm telling you now!

Anyway... You never think that it is going to take awhile for yourself to get pregnant; just like they teach in high school: if you have unprotected sex, you will get pregnant.  I sometimes wish it was that easy for everyone, but in some cases, I’m glad it’s not.  Life rarely turns out exactly how you have pictured it.  Like I said in my first post, I want to be able to share my experiences so that maybe it can help someone else who reads it, going through the same thing.

Before I tell the beginning of our story, I just want to say that I know there are many, many couples who have struggled with infertility for a lot longer than we have and have gone through much, much more.  We haven’t even officially been diagnosed with infertility, but we definitely know that there is something not right.  And I want to be open about it from the start because, why not?  There is such a stigma about trying to get pregnant and infertility that it should be kept hush-hush.  But how is that helpful to anyone?  That being said, I will be getting into some girly details, so if that bothers you, stop reading now. J

Around December of 2014, Travis and I started talking about having a baby.  We weren’t quite ready.  We still had some traveling we wanted to do and I always have to let big decisions sink in for awhile.  So we decided that we would start trying in the spring.  So at the end of March 2015, I got off the pill and we started trying in May.  I had done a lot of research on tracking ovulation and I also read that it could take a few months for my cycle to regulate after getting off birth control.  My first cycle off of the pill was 24 days.  The next one was 33 days and the next one was 36.  During this time, I would take ovulation tests around when I thought I should be ovulating, but they all always came back negative.  I just figured that I was either doing it wrong or testing at the wrong time.  My next cycle was 42 days and I thought for sure that I was pregnant that time.  But I wasn’t.  After a negative pregnancy test and a period soon after, I knew I wasn’t.  Finally, I knew that something definitely wasn’t right when my next cycle lasted 140 days!  That’s about 4 ½ months!  Time after time I would take pregnancy tests and each time they came back negative.  I can’t describe how heart-breaking it is to repeatedly only see one little line instead of two.  I have cried countless times on Travis’s shoulder, wondering why I have to wait to be a mother.  Why he has to wait to be a father.  I guess I haven’t quite mastered the art of patience yet…

So after I hadn’t gotten my period for 3 months, I called my doctor.  They wanted me to go in to have some blood work done, but right about that time (November), I switched jobs and wouldn’t have health insurance until the beginning of the year.  So I had to wait…  As soon as January hit, I went and had my blood drawn.  They ran some tests and didn’t find anything abnormal.  So I went in for a check-up and everything seemed to be fine.  So my doctor prescribed me with Medroxyprogesterone (progesterone) to induce a period.  He also prescribed me with clomiphene citrate (Clomid) to then induce ovulation.  On cycle day 35, I was to take the progesterone for 10 days.  After stopping the progesterone, my period should come within 10 days and then on cycle day 5, I would take Clomid for 5 days.  That process started on January 31, 2016…

Nothin' in the Oven Cookies

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups sugar

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup butter

4 tbsp cocoa powder

1/2 cup peanut butter

3 cups quick-cooking oats

1 tsp vanilla

Handful Heath Toffee bits (optional)

Directions:

In a saucepan, combine sugar, milk, butter, and cocoa.  Bring to a boil and cook for 1 minute.  Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter, oats, and vanilla.  Stir in toffee bits.  Drop spoonfuls onto wax paper and let cool until hardened.

I'm New Here...

Hello and welcome to my blog!  It seems like everyone is blogging these days, so I thought I would give it a whirl.  I have never blogged ever, so don't judge me too harshly.  Anyway, my goal for this blog is to share experiences and thoughts that might be relatable to someone else in some way.  I also find it very therapeutic to be able to express myself on "paper" and through words.  My most recent version of blogging has been writing my thoughts on paper and shoving them in my journal.  Super organized, I know.

I will also be sharing "tried and true" recipes that I have found, mostly on Pinterest.  I love to bake and hope to own my own bakery one day.  You probably have noticed that the title of the blog is "Two Scoops".  Some of our friends gave us that nickname because we love ice cream so much.  I love anything sweet, really, which is probably the reason I love to bake so much.  Most baked goods are sweet!

Have you ever seen the movie, "Waitress" with Keri Russell?  Well in the movie, Jenna (Keri Russell) is always talking about these pies she makes and she names them after events or thoughts she has going on in her life.  For example, "Falling in Love Chocolate Mousse Pie" and "I Don't Want Earl's Baby Pie" and my favorite, "Baby Screamin' Its Head Off In The Middle Of The Night & Ruinin' My Life Pie."  Well Jenna has inspired me and I will be modeling my blog after this idea, so stay tuned!



Enjoy!